Things I Have Had Small Panic Attacks About While Planning My Wedding: A Non-comprehensive List

(Non-comprehensive because there are definitely other things I have had small panic attacks over during this process but have subsequently blacked them out of my memory.)

-budget

-the guest list

-the guest list for the bridal shower

-the guests’ RSVPs

-choosing the invitations

-choosing the venue

-choosing the people involved in the ceremony

-choosing to not have a bartender

-budget for a caterer

-choosing to have my wedding dress made bespoke by a very talented and professional costumer friend rather than purchasing one off Etsy, David’s Bridal, J Crew, BHLDN, or various other sources

-choosing the fabric for my wedding dress

-budget for a wedding dress

-the fact that my phone keeps correcting “dress” to “dread”

-the fact that I’m actually really excited about my unique and non-traditional wedding dress choices

-what to put on the registry

-table linens: buy or rent?

-whether to keep the tradition of the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding OR having a big beautiful family brunch the morning of the wedding hosted by my amazing future in-laws

-how to accommodate my loved ones without hurting anyone or making anyone feel insignificant

-how to remind myself that this is my wedding and it’s ok to make decisions for me and the Fella, not necessarily for everyone else

-how to afford a caterer no really

-constantly being barraged with questions about every aspect of the wedding and realizing I have like 2% of the answers to said questions

-making lists ALL the time

-realizing Pinterest is actually like a coloring book for little kids on a road trip: it’s entertaining and inspiring but generally has nothing whatsoever to do with what will happen when you actually get there

-whether or not some friends will be hurt or insulted that I did not (read: could not) invite them

-whether or not some friends will realize that it totally wasn’t an intentional snub or insult and that I am sorry I can’t invite everyone everywhere all the time because I really truly am

-whether or not to elope instead

-how to do a courthouse wedding

-wondering how mad people would be if we eloped

-deciding not to elope

-really wishing that wedding culture was less complicated and less expensive

-realizing that we won’t get a honeymoon because of work schedules

-realizing that this is all much ado about just one day in our lives and it will go by really fast and why do we do this to ourselves if it’s just 24 hours, a blip on the radar, a drop in the bucket of eternity

-wondering how long after the wedding people will start asking about babies

-oh no I forgot about (insert wedding thing here)

-who’s in charge of (insert wedding thing here)

-what if we (insert uncertain solution here)

-elope right we should really elope

-or maybe just have a potluck

-sigh

-all right, we’ll find a way

-realizing how much I love the Fella

-realizing how much he loves me

-realizing that that’s what is really important and it won’t be perfect but it will be wonderful and afterwards we can start our lives together

-oh man this just got real

-oh MAN there’s only 56 days left

-OH MAN I’m actually REALLY EXCITED